Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
Archive for March, 2004
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Life is the only thing you can’t get out of alive.
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May your life be like toilet paper… Long and useful.
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Someone said to Voltaire, “Life is hard.” Voltaire replied, “Compared to what?”
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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
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Life is full of disappointments, and I’m full of life!
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Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
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Today is the last day of some of your life.
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Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
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Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.
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What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, “Maybe life isn’t for everyone.”
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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.
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Life is wasted on the living. Enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be dead.